Drop the Glue Gun, Don't Make Me Use the Bedazzler On You, Man!

In the interest of full disclosure, no I do not have a bedazzler. This gnome is not that sophisticated. But I know some gnomes who've gone that way, gone all the way with glitter, sparkly-dos, stickers, stationery, labels, ribbons, etc. All in the interest of showcasing pictures, on lovely papers with varying themes depending on holiday season.

As a proud mother, I take lots of pictures of the young gnomelets. But I only get to see the pictures in the microscopic camera screen.

For the longest time, I've obsessed about them. When am I going to get these pictures printed? When?

I admit I am not computer savvy. When I plug in the memory stick, Computer plays mind games on me.

It gives me mind-bending options: view pictures, import pictures, import and delete, export pictures, refinance your gnome house on a fixed rate, start your 401 K. What the %$#$?

Just show me the pictures! Show me the pictures!!!

But no. Computer plays it cool. The cursor waits and blinks and blinks. And blinks.

Like a wounded animal, I retreat, take the memory stick out and regroup.

Now, I had a secret weapon, see. Computer didn't know this. My weapon? Very Computer savvy Daddy Gnome. Very. U-huh. So this is how it went down.

Mama Gnome said, "Sure be nice to take a CD of pics to Gnome-Mart to print."

Daddy Gnome said, "Sure, hon." Daddy gnome continued to strategize next Gnome Civilization III move.

A week later, Mama Gnome said, "I'm going to Gnome's Club. But you know...the CD?"

Daddy gnome said, "Oh, right. Next weekend,I'll have time." Daddy gnome continued reading discussions on Gnome Civilization forum.

Nine months later...

Mama gnome said, "You know, last time we got pictures printed, baby gnome couldn't sit up yet. Now she climbs up jaguar mountain."

Daddy gnome said, "Really? That long?"

Two years later, all thoughts of CD pics gone.

Why you ask? Ha! Ha! Ha! Aye, there's the glitter or the rub so to speak.

For pictures to be developed, paper and harmful chemicals are involved. After pictures are printed, more paper, cardboard, bins and other storage receptacles are needed to house said pictures. Where they sit and sit.

Please consider, maybe it's okay not to have hard copies of pictures if your beloved gnome friends and family have access to the computer, because they can view your pictures instantly on the web.

No need for glitter, no need for bedazzlers or glue or anything else like that. Just use your gnome mouse, point, click and send.

Please consider, creating a digital scrapbook. You save paper and time.

So next time, Daddy gnomes want to play their games, defeat hostile gnome countries or evil gnome wizards, let them.

They're just being green.

As for you Computer, just wait. I have friends named Control, Alt, Delete...

I bide my time. I bide my time.

© jenaelha, garden gnome's blog 2009