First Scroll: Treasures Found In A Trashcan Full of Sinatras

There are bands and there are bands and there's the

TRASHCAN SINATRAS

Once upon a time in a magical land, where the Scottish Crossbill sings and the ancient Fortingall tree grows, a band of humans came together and became the Trashcan Sinatras.

Mama gnome has listened to them for years, long before the tube of yous and the book of faces and the twitterings of electronic birds.

The Trashcan Sinatras woke up Mama gnome from an afternoon stupor when she heard Funny.

And Mama gnome said, "What? What wondrous music is this doth stir this gnome's soul?"

And she was hooked.

Their first album, named after Mama gnome's own heart, was called "CAKE."

And the world listened to Obscurity Knocks and Only Tongue can Tell.

And like all heroes, they too were tested. John Douglas, guitarist, described the 'indoor years' that started in 1997.

Yet they remained stalwart humans and amidst their struggles they continued to create poetic, out of this world music with songs such as How Can I Apply , Snow , A Coda and thankfully countless more. Mama gnome will have to fill out scroll after scroll for all of them.

Whenever Mama gnome felt depressed because of earthwarming and diminishing rain forests of the Amazon, she would listen to Weightlifting and her spirits will rise.

All the Dark Horses evokes images of the magnificent animals running free on the Andalusian plains.

In the earth years of nine and two thousand, the Trashcan Sinatras, brought forth their sixth album called IN THE MUSIC which features one of Mama gnome's favorites, Apples and Oranges.

The new album also contains the song, People, which stirs quiet wishing from Mama gnome for a song called, Gnomes.

But Mama gnome wished for more. Her quest: to find the elusive Trashcan Sinatras.

And so Mama gnome accompanied by loyal Daddy gnome traveled and passed through the desert.

(c)2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's blog

They admired Rock formations evocative of a certain planet (cough) Vulcan!

(c)2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's blog

They traversed the highway of cement where the gnome car passed through the carpool lane, and other cars parked on the other side of the freeway. You see or rather smell greenhouse gases hard at work.

(c)2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's blog

They passed this.

(c)2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's blog

And Mama gnome thought, "What manner of woman is this Beverly to have hills named after her?"

Mama gnome later realized she did not see any hills whilst they drove through the Hills of Beverly. At least not the geographical kind. Pardon the smart alecky Mama gnome.


They stopped at this junction, where they were taking pictures of humans for free if they crossed whilst the light was red.
Daddy gnome didn't want free pictures that day.
He said, "You can have as many free pictures you want, Mama gnome, when you're the one driving the gnome car." Poor sport.

(c)2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's blog

Until finally, the gnomes forced to park their car ten blocks away, returned to this path.

(c)2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's blog

The Fates smiled down at Mama gnome for she saw one of the humans from Trashcan Sinatras.

(c)2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's blog

So Mama gnome armed only with the fire in her heart approached him...

And in the manner of hanging from a cliff, Mama gnome will post the second scroll to narrate her adventures.

Please visit Mama gnome's blog soon to find out what happens when she enters the abode of The Troubadour.

Is this a plot set by the giants to trap Mama gnome?

Will she succeed in her quest for the Trashcan Sinatras? And what does Daddy gnome have to say about that?

In the interest of full disclosure and staying green, Mama gnome is not in the habit of driving frequently, she hardly ever has to. She counts herself very lucky.

She has only been to two concerts in the last seven years and this is that second concert. The first one was Coldplay. And it'll probably be years before she goes to another one.

In the meantime please, help all the Dark Horses and lift the weight off your spirit and REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE...
Go Greeen!

(c) Trashcan Sinatras for all the beautiful works I've mentioned.

Please visit their website at http://www.trashcansinatras.com/

(c)2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome for blogpost

Stop, drop and swim at warp speed

Mama gnome is not a party animal.

Usually when Mama gnome hears the word "party" in a word association game, the following words will pop up:
mingle, converse, painful and slow death...

So when Daddy gnome sprang the following words to Mama gnome, "BBQ and Pool Party,"
Mama gnome's brain exploded with:
mingle, converse, bathing suit, exposed, painful and slow drowning death.

But gnomelets shouted, "Yehey! Swim!"

So the gnome family drove in the gnome car to a land not too far.

Mama gnome distracted herself by gazing at the desert landscape.

She imagined how it would feel if she ran straight into a Joshua tree.

Would that be a really painful and slow death?

She'd probably still have to go to the BBQ pool party even when pierced with thousands of cactus needles.

So Mama gnome sat back down in the passenger seat.

Much to Mama gnome's surprise, the host and hostess of the party were very gentle and welcoming humans.

Hostess human and Mama gnome forged immediate bond especially after Mama gnome discovered Hostess human was a Trekkie like herself.

And so a mini Star Trek convention ensued minus the costumes.

Mama gnome has been a devoted Trekkie for many years.

Take Exhibits 1 and 2






And Exhibits 3 and 4




Mama gnome and Hostess human discussed extensively the latest Star Trek movie and agreed on major points:

Warning: Spoiler Alert! Stop if you haven't seen the movie yet. Come back after you've seen it to see if you concur with:


"That movie was so cool!"

"First time older Spock said 'live long and prosper' was major crying scene."

"Dude, they kept the sound track! Awesome!"

"But you-know-who's-mother didn't die in the original series."

"Conclusion: Movie was set in alternate universe"

"Conclusively conclusion: MORE STAR TREK MOVIES COMING OUT! WOO-HOOO!"



Gnomelets enjoyed the party as evidenced by not wanting to come out of the pool and staying there forever.

So Daddy and Mama gnome had to accompany gnomelets into the pool three times!

Mama gnome considered maybe gnomelets were either baby fishies or sea turtles.
But dropped that idea quickly after youngest gnomelet jumped on Mama gnome's back only as a gnomelet could.

After the party, the gnome family went home and Mama gnome smiled looking at the beautiful desert landscape.

The sun was setting.

Joshua trees unscathed.

And in the words of a wise Vulcan I admire, "Live long and prosper."

My greatest challenge

It couldn't be put off any longer. I had to face it.

The first attempt, I only lasted 48 hours.

The second attempt was more successful.

Four days.

The third attempt...

It's been over two months.

And I think I can keep going.

It's been over two months since I've stopped eating meat.


Why am I doing this?

• For the environment
• For health
• For the animals

Do you dare take this challenge?

If you triumph.. you are in excellent company



video from http://www.youtube.com/user/animalhumano

Go to goveg.com to read up about this issue.

Green inside, green outside, this is Mama frog, ehem, Mama gnome reporting...'til next time.

GO GREEN!

(c) 2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Prime Real Estate At Rock Bottom Price

The listing in the paper read:

360 degrees Ocean front view
Square footage: "It's bigger than Texas"
All plastic furnishings provided

"Huh?" Mama Gnome scratched her head. "Plastic?"
So she searched and researched. She couldn't believe what she'd found.

Ladies and Gentlemen and fellow Gnomes, I present:

THE GREAT PACIFIC GARBAGE PATCH

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/64/North_Pacific_Gyre_World_Map.png



Yes, my thoughts swirled like the arrows in the map.

I couldn't believe it.

But no.

It's all true.

Our trash literally have made their own island, albeit not quite solid island, in the middle of the North Pacific Ocean.

I'll give you a few moments to take that in.


The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is also known as the Eastern Garbage Patch or the Pacific Trash Vortex.
Its size is astonishing. No, its not just bigger than Texas.
This reports it to be two and a half times bigger than the United States.
It permeates deep beneath the ocean's surface.

I'd just like to call it the Pacific Ocean Trash Monster.

And off blog, I want to call it something else.

How did this Monster materialize?

Basically, experts say ocean currents shown by the arrows, created these areas where water was relatively stable and thus the debris/trash in the oceans were carried by the currents and accumulated in the North Pacific Gyre.

They say 80% of the trash came from land and 20% from ships.

Wasn't anybody watching out for this?

They knew this was going to happen. They predicted it and published a paper about it in 1988.

Why didn't they do anything about it then?

That's a really good question. I'd like to phone a friend for help.

Captain Charles Moore, an oceanographer and founder of Algalita Marine Research Foundation came upon this mess and wrote several articles about it. He helped bring scientific and media attention to this Ocean Monster.

He gives a powerful, informative speech in this video.

Young children need Parental guidance for some of the images.



video from http://www.ted.com/


What can we do about it?

According to this article, the Environmental Cleanup Coalition (ECC) has started the Gyre Cleanup Project.

This is a monumental endeavor and would require lots of manpower and funding.

Here is a link for ECC: http://gyrecleanup.org/

What else can we do?

• Seriously consider not using those plastic bags at grocery stores. Bring your own reusable bags. Please read my older post.
  
• Please use biodegradable products as much as possible. Plastic is not biodegradable.
  
• Please pick up your trash. And for trash pick up on garbage day, make sure your trash is contained and won't be flying off the minute the truck pulls away.
• Please support any measures or bills that would limit or ban plastic bags.
• Please don't litter at the beach or street corner or mall or forest or wherever. Come on now.
  
• Participate/volunteer in organizations such as ECC and Heal the Bay or clean up projects.
  
• Educate your family, friends, coworkers, strangers about these issues.
• REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE the heck out of everything...please!
  

Our oceans and lands are prime real estate. Please help stop our trash from taking over our planet.

(c) 2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Mystery Animal of the Day

Mama Gnome Presents:


Mystery Animal of the Day


Its legs have stripes similar to a zebra's

Its body and face are similar to a giraffe's.

It's a herbivore and many of the plants it consumes are poisonous to humans.


Its existence is threatened by poachers, habitat destruction and wars.


If your answer is OKAPI, you win Mama gnome's admiration and virtual morning elixir.

And Mama gnome asks, "What are you doing then? Why don't you become a zoologist or animal rescuer or something..."








Photo by Raul654


Okapis are mammals and are closely related to the giraffe.

They are primarily diurnal animals which gnomelet says, "are animals that look for food in daytime and sleep at night."

Their feet have scent glands that secrete a tar like substance, marking their territory.

Okapis have the distinction of being the only mammals that have such long tongues that can clean their ears inside and out.

Their velvety fur is oily and can repel water which is pretty handy in a rain forest, Mama gnome thinks.

Mama gnome also says, "Aren't they just marvelous creatures?"

They are mostly solitary animals and favor large, secluded areas. But unfortunately, their habitat is diminishing.

They are native to the Ituri Forest in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. In 1992 an Okapi Wildlife Reserve was established. However civil war threatens both the animals and reserve workers.



video by Wildlife Direct

Mama gnome hopes you've enjoyed learning a little bit about OKAPIS.

Tune in again for our next MYSTERY ANIMAL of the DAY...

(c) 2009 Jenaelha Friendly Gnome's Blog

Earth Warming 101

By the by, Daddy gnome settled the gnomelets into bed. He opened the gnomelets' favorite bedtime story book, Fairy Tales.

But before Daddy gnome could start, a gnomelet asks, "Daddy, what is earth warming?"

Mama gnome took over and said...

Once upon a time, there was a planet called Earth.

Earth was different from other planets that looped around the Sun. All sorts of creatures and humans lived on this special planet.

But through the years, the humans became industrialized...building giant factories, cars, massive farms and power plants.

Most of the things man made relied on fossil fuels. They burned off fuels and released gases including carbon dioxide and methane into the atmosphere.

They're called greenhouse gases because they act like a greenhouse with Earth the figurative plant housed underneath its dome.

Greenhouse gases mainly trap the sun's radiation in the atmosphere. Thus causing earth warming or as humans call it Global Warming.

According to a National Geographic News article:

"The rate of warming is increasing. The 20th century's last two decades were the hottest in 400 years and possibly the warmest for several millennia, according to a number of climate studies. And the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) reports that 11 of the past 12 years are among the dozen warmest since 1850."

"Arctic ice is rapidly disappearing, and the region may have its first completely ice-free summer by 2040 or earlier. Polar bears and indigenous cultures are already suffering from the sea-ice loss."

"Glaciers and mountain snows are rapidly melting—for example, Montana's Glacier National Park now has only 27 glaciers, versus 150 in 1910."

Mama gnome said, "Come out from underneath the blanket, sweetie. I know it's scary. But let's finish the story---"

Some humans and gnomes tried to help Earth. But they are not enough to offset the effects of countless factories, machines, power plants...and more than six billion people.

Mama gnome wishes she could say, "And they lived happily ever after."

Then I would start over. And I will tell you,

Once upon a time, there was this beautiful planet. She was called EARTH.



video link: http://tinyurl.com/3b9em4


(c) 2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Mystery Animal of the Day

Mama Gnome presents Mystery Animal of the Day.

Guess what animal this is:

It's toothless, nocturnal and covered with scales.
It is a mammal and a good swimmer.
It is likened to a walking artichoke or pine cone.

It is endangered.




If your answer is PANGOLIN, you win a trillion points and a pat on the back from Mama gnome.


Pangolin image from : http://letopis.kulichki.net/2001/image2001/pangolin.jpg


Pangolins are toothless anteaters. They curl up into a ball when threatened. Similar to skunks they can spray noxious smells to defend themselves. They are found in Africa and Asia.

Pangolins are hunted down for their meat and scales even though laws are in place against this.

Here's a video of a pangolin searching for food.



Here's another interesting video.




Mama gnome hopes you've enjoyed learning a little bit about the pangolin.

Tune in again to find out what will be the next Mystery Animal of the Day.

(c) 2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Take two tablets of Coldplay and call me in the morning

Mama gnome stumbled out of bed and trudged to the kitchen in quest of the morning elixir, so vital for existence. After adding four teaspoons of sugar and ¼ cup creamer into her coffee mug, she stuck a sorry piece of bread into the toaster.

Mama gnome’s single slice of peanut butter toast tasted more cardboardy than peanut buttery. Mama gnome felt terrible.Her malaise was tied in with earth warming and animals being threatened, endangered
or becoming extinct.

But Mama gnome, determined to make herself feel better, drove in the gnome car with sister gnome to a land far from her home.

'Twas a land dwarfed by a giant structure intended to house thousands of people while they watched two teams play a certain sport activity. The home team's name is tied in with astronomy. A famous player in the team had a movie named after him. He’s married to…oh, you get the picture.

Anyway, on this day, there were no sport players around.

Mama and sister gnomes struggled walking amidst tall humans.

Mama gnome glanced down at the e tickets and couldn’t figure out what Section Grass 5 meant. Is the topiary number 5 on the grass itself? She asked a tall human who pointed with a long arm towards a distant green spot in the whole cement structure.

“It’s over there?” Mama gnome gasped.

Mama and sister gnomes traversed up and down winding staircases, looping hallways and pathways and finally made it to the tiny grass spot about twelve miles horizontally and vertically from the stage.

After a few minutes Mama and sister gnome experienced nose bleeds remedied by tilting their heads up to the sky.

The show started with two opening acts. Mama and sister gnome didn’t know who they were and no amount of squinting could help them see the tiny people on stage. But after they played, the humans clapped for them.

After Mama and sister gnomes spent two hours sitting on damp grass and looking for celebrity-look-alikes, Coldplay humans came on stage. Although Coldplay only looked like well-dressed microscopic humans because of the distance, their music rang loud and true.

After an hour, the Coldplay humans walked down the stage and started running... running, heading up...up towards the tiny grass spot where Mama and sister gnomes sat!

Mama and sister gnomes struggled between crying and fainting but did neither because about thirty feet in front of them, stood well dressed Coldplay humans.

Nose bleed grass section tickets became prime front row tickets within a matter of minutes. Mama gnome performed somersaults in her mind.

Coldplay sang three acoustic songs in front of them including Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean song. Mama gnome sang with them and all feelings of malady disappeared.

Green grass = Coldplay

See even when Mama gnome didn’t plan it, it pays to be green, people.

Pays to be green.

(c) 2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Guest Bloggers Kim Mikhael, Raymond and Eliana

Friendly Gnome is very happy to welcome our first ever guest bloggers.
They're from Florida.

Thank you so much to: KIM MIKHAEL, RAYMOND and ELIANA.

Kim Mikhael(13) will be in 8th grade at Crystal lake Magnet School.

Raymond(10) will be in 4th grade at Quiet Waters Elementary School and

Eliana (8)will be in 3rd grade also at Quiet Waters Elementary School.

They went shoreline fishing with their parents at Deerfield Beach Fishing Pier.

They fished for about 3 1/2 hours and caught a blue crab, two snappers and one permit fish.

Our hardworking bloggers also observed nature and their environment.

This is what they want to share with you.


KIM MIKHAEL blogs:

When I went fishing I saw a lot of trash on the shore and in the water.
There were plastic bags in the water and broken glass on the ground.
The water also seemed to be a little polluted with chemicals.
I think that where I went fishing may become too polluted to support any fish in the future.
It is a sad thing to look and see garbage floating in the water.


RAYMOND blogs:

I noticed that the water is black because of the fuel coming from the motor boats.
It is not very good idea to use motor boats because of two reasons.
First, it pollutes the water and second reason is it will cause the fish to die. Motor boats also hurt the manatees swimming around the shore.
I am very scared for the fish and the manatees living there.


ELIANA blogs:

Yesterday,I went fishing with my family.
I saw logs, tree branches,big rocks,garbage,plastic bottles in the water.
I saw some stuff on the ground that people just left.
There was one rubber shoe, a pair of white socks, and dirty plastic bags and an empty glass bottle.
I felt very mad because people are careless!
They don't care about our beautiful planet.
We live on it, we have to keep it clean.
If they throw trash in the water, the fish will die.
There will be less fish to catch and eat.
If there is less food to eat, people and animals will be hungry and die.
It is a very sad and scary thing to happen.


Friendly gnome couldn't have said it any better.

REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE.

"Reach for the skies, lady. Hand me your bag."

Mama gnome went to Gnomemart and purchased groceries for the gnome household.
After Mama gnome filled the cart with essentials such as peanut butter cup ice cream and chocolate, she went to the cashier.

Mama gnome said, "Hi."

A gum chewing sales associate eyed Mama gnome and said, "Hi..."

Mama gnome asked, "Is it okay if we use my bags for the groceries?"

"You want to what?"

"Use my bags." Mama gnome held up her two giant reusable bags.

Gum chewing sales associate shrugged her shoulders.

Mama gnome didn't know what that meant.

Did it mean:

a. You're weird. b. What planet are you from? c. Who cares? d. I hate my job.

After Mama gnome swiped her card to pay, Gum lady, started filling up Mama gnome's reusable bags!

When she finished, Mama gnome said, "Thanks! Have a nice day."

Gum lady smiled and said, "You too."

True story. It didn't start out as a pleasant experience. People in line stared at me. But I pushed the cart out of there without a plastic bag in sight.

It's a daily struggle to be green, isn't it? It's so much easier to be complacent and just go with the flow. But sometimes, people step out of their comfort zone and dare to be different.

Nanette, a cousin gnome, pointed this article to Mama gnome.

So people do try and try hard. That's what's important, keep trying.

And this is what happens when a BUNCH OF PEOPLE really try hard.

They have saved "the equivalent of 1.6 million tonnes of oil."

Their efforts have "saved the country 40 BILLION PLASTIC BAGS." Astounding.

40 billion plastic bags kept out of landfills, streets, rivers and oceans.

But the bad news. It's not enough. Nowhere near enough. It was reported that:

"There are now 46,000 pieces of plastic per square kilometre of the world's oceans, killing a million seabirds and 100,000 marine mammals each year."

So reach for the skies, reach for the stars and go green.

"REDUCE, REUSE, RECYLE."

(c) 2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Save energy, save the polar bears

YEAR 2050
Future gnomelet asks, "Mama, what's a polar bear?"

Future Mama Gnome says, "Good question. I know it's not a dragon. Some kind of bear for sure, some kind of bear. We'd have to look it up."

"United States Geological Survey scientists conservatively project that two-thirds of the polar bear population in the world could disappear by 2050, including all of Alaska's polar bears." See entire article here: http://www.nwf.org/polarbear/

That's two-thirds, people. Not one-third, not one-fourth. Two-thirds!

Who or what is the culprit? GLOBAL WARMING.

Do you think leaving your lights on in the other room and having all your appliances on all day is insignificant in the whole scheme of things? No it's not. Our actions affect every other creature on this planet including yourself.

Polar bears are Mama Gnome's favorite land animals.

Present day Mama Gnome chants, "Save energy, save the polar bears."

What is your favorite animal? Is it threatened or endangered? You can find out from the IUCN's red list.
Maybe you can share the information with us in the comments' section.

Start saying to yourself, "Save energy, save -------(insert name of favorite animal)."

And make it happen. You can do it. I know you can.

So future gnomelets will know what your favorite animal is.

Now let's see how these energy saving animals do it.




(c)2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Thankless Job

The International Union for the Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources (IUCN) is an incredible organization working for the conservation of natural resources. Please check out their website for tons of information concerning nature and the environment: IUCN

The IUCN publishes an analysis every four years. According to their most recent analysis, the "2010 goals set by governments to reduce biodiversity loss will not be met."

Here's a statement made by Jean-Christophe Vié, Deputy Head of IUCN’s Species Programme:

"When governments take action to reduce biodiversity loss there are some conservation successes, but we are still a long way from reversing the trend. It’s time to recognize that nature is the largest company on Earth working for the benefit of 100 percent of humankind – and it's doing it for free. Governments should put as much effort, if not more, into saving nature as they do into saving economic and financial sectors."

I was struck by this: "nature is the largest company on Earth working for the benefits of 100 percent of humankind- and it's doing it for free..."

How would you like to work for free, forever? It's a thankless job for Nature. A thankless job.

I think it's time we give them a promotion, a raise, a vacation package and medical insurance. Don't you?

(c) 2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Five Stages of Green

1. DENIAL:
There's no such thing as global warming. It's just a figure of speech. No, really. Everything's
fine. Ice caps melt all the time. That's why it's called ice, not rock, silly.

2. ANGER:
Who went all emissions crazy here? I want to know now! What do you mean the polar bears
are drowning? You talking to me? Yeah, you, the one in the Hummer, dressed in fur, smoking
a cigarette. Yeah, I'm talking to you...

3. BARGAINING:
Maybe if I only take 5 minute showers instead of an hour, that'll help. Maybe if I recycle my
water bottles and cans, that might help. Can't you give me more time on Earth? I promise, I'll
do better, really. Just don't let all the oceans rise and wipe off my continent. Promise, I'll do
better.

4. DEPRESSION:
So what if the Planet's in peril? I just want to stay in bed and finish my gallon of peanut butter cup ice cream. What's the point in recycling, reducing, reusing? Go away. I don't want to talk anymore. I can't breath from all the chemical smoke blowing over from the factory. (Cough, cough.) Can you hand me my teddy bear? Now, go away.

5. ACCEPTANCE:
Okay, this is a big problem. The government can't solve everything. My neighbor won't help. The driver in the gas guzzler doesn't care. It's down to me. It'll hurt. It's not going to be easy. But I can take it. I'm ready to go green.

(c)2009 Jenaelha, Friendly Gnome's Blog

Giant TV croaked, Mama Gnome's In Love

Long time ago, the newly married gnomes moved into the gnome house. Lots of stuff came with them, accumulated over the years by both gnomes. This included Giant TV and its tribe of speakers. Giant TV took up a lot of space. It protruded out of the entertainment niche. Tribe of speakers broke up into two tribes and settled into two closets.

Over the years, two gnomelets were born and have also learned to love Giant TV. But a few days ago, Giant TV started getting sick. Giant TV had been sick before and the gnome family paid a TV doctor to fix it. But this time it seemed a lot worse.

The screen changed and tweaked. Everyone was traveling at warp speed, including Diego, Baby Jaguar and all the chefs on the Food Network. The gnomes were worried.

This afternoon, the Giant TV croaked. The gnome family said their final goodbyes.

Daddy gnome and Mama gnome looked for another TV.

The store housed tons of TVs, TVs so flat and slim, it would take ten of them to make up the girth Giant TV had. Daddy gnome asked the salesman all kinds of technical questions Mama Gnome had no aptitude for. A gazillion pixels, input, output, contrast. Mama Gnome stood and listened, trying not to collapse on the floor.

There were several candidates. They all looked so good. But one candidate stood out.

Not only did it have an Energy Star sticker on it, it also had no lead or mercury. The salesman also said it consumed 40% less energy than other TVs.
Mama gnome perked up and smiled. All thoughts of passing out disappeared. Mama Gnome loved Skinny TV.

The gnomes drove home with Skinny TV. It fit in the niche. Giant TV would be proud.

Please consider, when replacing appliances or electronic equipment, buy energy efficient appliances. They may be slightly expensive, but would pay off in the long run.

Some stores even offer free pick up of old appliances for recycling. It's definitely worth looking into.

© Jenaelha, Garden Gnome's Blog, 2009

Drop the Glue Gun, Don't Make Me Use the Bedazzler On You, Man!

In the interest of full disclosure, no I do not have a bedazzler. This gnome is not that sophisticated. But I know some gnomes who've gone that way, gone all the way with glitter, sparkly-dos, stickers, stationery, labels, ribbons, etc. All in the interest of showcasing pictures, on lovely papers with varying themes depending on holiday season.

As a proud mother, I take lots of pictures of the young gnomelets. But I only get to see the pictures in the microscopic camera screen.

For the longest time, I've obsessed about them. When am I going to get these pictures printed? When?

I admit I am not computer savvy. When I plug in the memory stick, Computer plays mind games on me.

It gives me mind-bending options: view pictures, import pictures, import and delete, export pictures, refinance your gnome house on a fixed rate, start your 401 K. What the %$#$?

Just show me the pictures! Show me the pictures!!!

But no. Computer plays it cool. The cursor waits and blinks and blinks. And blinks.

Like a wounded animal, I retreat, take the memory stick out and regroup.

Now, I had a secret weapon, see. Computer didn't know this. My weapon? Very Computer savvy Daddy Gnome. Very. U-huh. So this is how it went down.

Mama Gnome said, "Sure be nice to take a CD of pics to Gnome-Mart to print."

Daddy Gnome said, "Sure, hon." Daddy gnome continued to strategize next Gnome Civilization III move.

A week later, Mama Gnome said, "I'm going to Gnome's Club. But you know...the CD?"

Daddy gnome said, "Oh, right. Next weekend,I'll have time." Daddy gnome continued reading discussions on Gnome Civilization forum.

Nine months later...

Mama gnome said, "You know, last time we got pictures printed, baby gnome couldn't sit up yet. Now she climbs up jaguar mountain."

Daddy gnome said, "Really? That long?"

Two years later, all thoughts of CD pics gone.

Why you ask? Ha! Ha! Ha! Aye, there's the glitter or the rub so to speak.

For pictures to be developed, paper and harmful chemicals are involved. After pictures are printed, more paper, cardboard, bins and other storage receptacles are needed to house said pictures. Where they sit and sit.

Please consider, maybe it's okay not to have hard copies of pictures if your beloved gnome friends and family have access to the computer, because they can view your pictures instantly on the web.

No need for glitter, no need for bedazzlers or glue or anything else like that. Just use your gnome mouse, point, click and send.

Please consider, creating a digital scrapbook. You save paper and time.

So next time, Daddy gnomes want to play their games, defeat hostile gnome countries or evil gnome wizards, let them.

They're just being green.

As for you Computer, just wait. I have friends named Control, Alt, Delete...

I bide my time. I bide my time.

© jenaelha, garden gnome's blog 2009

Some Things Do Live Forever

The gnome family drove in the gnome car to find nourishment. Mama gnome found the single tree in the car resting place and maneuvered the hood to be shaded.

The two gnomelets fought over who Daddy gnome would carry in. After a few minutes of discussion, the eldest gnomelet would get to ride out first and baby gnomelet would be carried back. This is what the gnomelets agreed on.

Daddy said, "Good job agreeing. Two heads are better than one."

The older gnomelet said, "That means two-headed dragon."

Daddy gnome said, "It means, if you two think about something together, you come up with a better idea."

Baby gnomelet said, "I want to be carried first..."

Mama gnome said, "Let's go."

A troll greeted the gnome family. He was however a satiated troll, so the gnomes were seated in a booth next to a wooden carousel horse. Baby gnomelet wanted to ride the horse. Mama gnomelet gave baby gnomelet a coloring book and some crayons which entertained baby for about ten seconds.

The elder gnomes perused the scroll of nourishment. Mama gnome found a secret scroll stashed behind the salt container. The scroll contained "nutritional information." Daddy gnome found out the "chicken wrap" he'd been eating all this time had almost 1,200 calories and 20 grams of fat. He discovered the simple burger had half the calories and half the fat.

Daddy gnome said, "All this time, I'd been eating that cardboard."

Mama gnome said, "Poor thing."

Dady gnome told the lady server, "I want a Sam Adams."

Mama blew on the steaming hot corndog for baby gnomelet while baby gnomelet finished Mama's soup. The gnomes ate.

When the gnomes finished, Mama gnome took out a container from her satchel and placed the left-overs inside.

Lady server came by and said, "Do you want a box for your..." She looked down. The plates were empty. "I'll bring the check."

On the way to the gnome car, the gnomelets threw coins into the fountain and made secret wishes.

Mama gnome threw a coin in as well and wished for "More Trees."

For a short time styrofoam containers transport leftovers from the restaurant into the car into the house. They might stay in the refrigerator for a couple more days before the leftovers are finally eaten.

Some lucky styrofoams might get recycled. But a lot of them are thrown away. Into landfills.

A few hours in the car,a couple of days in the fridge, a million years in a landfill.

Next time you go out to eat, consider bringing your own containers for left-overs. Because some things do live forever.

© 2009 Jenaelha, Garden Gnome's Blog

Hey, You Got Ketchup on your Chin...Beutiful

There was a time, a sad time, when my oldest gnomelet (she’s 5 now), would never be seen with food crusties or smears on her face or on her (gasp)…onesie. Time’s changed.

My two gnomelets run around the house and in the garden with dirty faces and even dirty smocks. And for good reason.

Trees… Where do you think napkins, gnome wipes, paper towels, tissues come from?

A mighty tree, a beautiful tree, supple and strong. A tree, so generous and benevolent…Not enough adjectives to do trees justice.

Not enough trees to keep up with how much paper people and gnomes use.

Next time you wash your hands, go ahead, wipe them on your pants, I dare you.

Hey you got ketchup on your chin…breathtaking…

© Jenaelha, Garden Gnome's Blog, 2009

Hang your clothes to dry

In a year, I've reduced our electric and gas bills by more than half. It wasn't easy at first. People grumbled, complained... But now, just look at that slick forty-seven dollar electric bill for June 2009. It was over a hundred last year.

Because of this honor, it would be amiss if I did not mention people responsible for all my success:

I would like to thank my daughters who have now learned to chant "save energy, save the polar bears" at unsuspecting house guests unaware of the current Martial Law for energy crackdown.

I would like to thank my husband for purchasing three lovely drying racks. Make that two and a half. One of them nearly demolished by my three year old today. Is this a ladder Mama?

I would like to thank my sister for sticking with wearing very stiff jeans. Able to stand by themselves or walk if you let them.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention...my husband again... for replacing all our light bulbs. And I mean all of them, including the one in the garage door opener, into those energy efficient bulbs. I forget what they're called. Not incandescent. No. They're the twisty, swirly ones. Very pretty and quite good for the environment.

I think I'll display my electric bill award. Frame it and hang it up right with the laundry in the empty guest room. And I can literally do that too because my husband pays the bill online. Might as well save stamps and the mailtruck gas.

While everyone else is busy looking at my award, they can shut the fridge, unplug the cellphone charger, unplug the toaster and air dry their hair.

Pays to be green, people. Pays to be green.

© Jenaelha, Garden Gnome's Blog, 2009